I’m Observing Yom Kippur This Year

I’m technically Jewish (my mother’s bloodline) but I wasn’t raised in the religion. I didn’t have a Bat Mitzvah. I’ve observed Yom Kippur before (I worked in a synagogue for two years) but never like this. I’m fasting/abstaining/atoning. I’m atoning in my own way, kicking myself in the ass. My last serious relationship ended badly a year ago. I’m thinking about the choices I made then and since.

I’ve coveted someone’s significant other. I’ve coveted him a lot. My false idols have been men I’ve dated, deemed special (artists/musicians/tech stars) and put on a pedestal. I’ve been heartbroken when these relationships ended. I’ve been dishonest. No murdering.

My experience with fasting/abstaining is that I want the things I can’t have. Wanting things I can’t have is the main theme of my year. I also really want a cheeseburger and have sex (with myself).

I’m Observing Yom Kippur This Year