I Heart Stats

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Pretty As A Peanut has been viewed in 1/3 of the countries in the world

My blog Pretty As A Peanut is now 2 months old. Here are a few more fun stats that WordPress provides for me.

Top 10 Countries (I’m huge in Nepal, haha)

#10 Mexico
#9 Germany
#8 India
#7 Japan
#6 France
#5 Nepal
#4 Australia
#3 United Kingdom
#2 Canada
#1 United States

Top 10 Tags

#10 Bay Area
#9 Disney Princesses
#8 Tina Belcher & Bob’s Burgers
#7 Ghosting
#6 Beer
#5 Text
#4 Adventure Time
#3 Sexy
#2 Oakland
#1 Donald Trump

Party time!


I Heart Stats

Lennyscopes, Leadership, And Love

I subscribe to stuff. I mostly read it. Sometimes I like it. Today I received three great things to read in my inboxes. I got my Lenny fix, a great piece by Seth Godin, and finally something really well written by Sabrina Alexis of A New Mode. I laughed, I learned, I cried. Not really, sort of.

Lennyscopes are included in Lena Dunham and Jenni Konner’s Lenny Letter. They are Melissa Broder’s, “Existential predictions for the month.” I’m a Capricorn. Here’s mine for April:

All you maybe have to do is stop ruining stuff for yourself, which is a lot easier and harder than it sounds. This month, when anything in your head doesn’t feel friendly, loving, gorgeous, sweet, peaceful, or kind (like every five seconds), just know that it’s you doing the mind-fucking. The moment you notice it’s going down, simply say, I’M DOING IT AGAIN. I am not asking you to be a Jedi of hyperconsciousness. I’m asking you to torture yourself only on your first thought, less on your second.

I’ve been mind fucking myself all week after getting ghosted. The last line is the best thing I’ve ever read.

My friend A told me to read Seth Godin’s book Tribes and it in part inspired me to start writing. His blog is my daily ish dose of business. I’m aware that it’s business lite. I did not think about business when I read today’s post. He told me that focus is a choice, “Your story is your story. But you don’t have to keep reminding yourself of your story, not if it doesn’t help you change it or the work you’re doing.” Perfect timing as I was just talking to my friend L last night about what giant shitfuckers our fathers are/were and I was feeling guilty about saying that I didn’t care that mine jumped off a roof.

A New Mode often makes me gag but I liked Sabrina Alexis’ most recent post about healthy relationships. She defines a healthy relationship as, “a relationship where you’re on the same page, when you aren’t waiting anxiously for the next text, a relationship where you just know how he feels and there is zero need to question or wonder (and doing so would almost feel ridiculous).” I wrote a post about how I wanted to feel in a relationship and she sums it up. Unfortunately the last person who made me feel that way was Sexy Sportswriter and he’s the one who ghosted me. Confusing. Bad ghoster!


Lennyscopes, Leadership, And Love

How Would You Feel?

Emotions_-_3My therapist K is fucking great. With her help, I’m becoming a better dater. This week she told me to focus on figuring out what I’m looking for in a partner and only date men who fit the bill. That’s not exactly groundbreaking advice but this next part is. She told me to write about how I would feel when I’m with my ideal guy instead of creating a laundry list of qualities and characteristics. Woah.

The mistake I make again and again is that I feel attracted to people whom I deem “special.” I meet someone who’s handsome, released an acclaimed album, and has a great job at Google and I’m besotted. This next part is even worse; I proceed to put him on a pedestal. I’m down here waving like an idiot and he’s way up there. People hate pedestals. People on pedestals have to fall.

What I’m really looking for now, after my past missteps is someone with whom I can build a life, someone who is my equal. I want to build up that pedestal with someone and then stand on it together. Unfortunately, being in my later 30s means that these guys are harder to find. Most of them know it too.

So, how would becoming Mr. and Mrs. Pedestal feel? I would feel like he likes me as much as I like him. He’d make me feel kickass and inspire me to be even more kickass. I’d feel secure knowing we’re a team. I wouldn’t feel batshit if I did something thoughtful for him. I know the, “she’s batshit because she just gave me homemade jam” look all too well. I wouldn’t have to worry about when to text, or if to text, or the text of my text, or the subtext of my text.

I would feel he’s interested in what I have to say even if it’s about boring codes on boring government paperwork. I would feel special knowing that he trusted me and felt like he could be himself with me. I would feel like him paying for things was not somehow synonymous with masculinity or chivalry. We’d both pay for stuff as we could because it was for us. Finally, I’d feel sexy because he’d want to do sexy time as much as me.

How Would You Feel?