DTF And My Sex Life Sucks: What I Learned from Attending a Sex Positivity Workshop

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Vulva Puppet. Photo courtesy Etsy/WonderousVulvaPuppets

That’s not sex positivity. It’s sex negativity!” my date shouted from the front seat of the UberPool Prius. Squished next to two strangers on their way to the ER, I was describing to him the sex positivity workshop I’d recently attended in Cow Hollow. I was taken aback by his insistence that he knew what sex positivity was and that I didn’t. I decided not to mention the attendance of Vicki, the velvet vulva puppet, at the workshop, lest she be fetishized as I was for my own attendance. (I was also thinking that ER trips and first dates are both good times to spring for regular Uber rather than UberPool.)

Swallow the whole thing on The Bold Italic.

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DTF And My Sex Life Sucks: What I Learned from Attending a Sex Positivity Workshop

Sex Positivity With Prince

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Goodnight sweet Prince.

If I Was Your Girlfriend

Would you let me kiss you there?
You know, down there, where it counts?
I’ll do it so good
I swear I’ll drink every ounce

Soft And Wet

All I wanna see is the love in your eyes (hey, lover)
And all I wanna hear is your sweet love sighs

Shh

Candle light – no (no), I don’t think so!
The crackle of the flame will just spoil my flow
Besides, I can be your fire baby, yeah
Drippin’ all over U like a ball of wax, relax and let go!

Sexy M.F.

U seem perplexed I haven’t taken u yet
Can’t u see I’m harder than a man can get
I got wet dreams comin’ out of my ears

Dirty Mind

I really get a dirty mind (mind, mind, mind…)
Whenever you’re around
It happens to me everytime (time, time, time…)

Delirious

Girl you gotta take me 4 a little ride up and down
In and out and around your lake

Little Red Corvette

A body like yours oughta be in jail
‘Cause it’s on the verge of bein’ obscene
Move over, baby, gimme the keys
I’m gonna try to tame your little red love machine

I Wanna Be Your Lover

I wanna be your lover
I wanna be the only one that makes you come running
I wanna be your lover
I wanna turn you on, turn you out, all night long, make you shout
Oh, lover! Yeah
I wanna be the only one you come for

Kiss

I want to be your fantasy
Maybe you could be mine

“Prince was a teenage prodigy delivering an ode to pussy.”

Sex Positivity With Prince