I hadn’t been to a WeWork Berkeley Happy Hour in awhile. I sat by myself and texted a friend. I looked up and saw an attractive guy.
Me: Long haired muscular Asian boy alert! I love WeWork.
Friend: Haha, go say hello.
So I did. We had a good conversation so I asked him out. He said yes. We texted back and forth for a couple of days planning the date. He was kind enough to ask me if I had any dietary restrictions. I googled him and there it was on his LinkedIn profile. He graduated from Cal in 2015. I thought he was probably around 30. Nope. He probably had no idea that I’m considerably older than him. I wondered if I should alert him. I decided that a date was not a marriage proposal and to stop overthinking.
The day of our date. He canceled. It’s not me it’s him, he said. It bummed me out. It bummed me out just because I liked talking to him and had put myself out there.
Being young is hard for him. I’m not being sarcastic. I get it.
A Puma is a woman in her 30’s seeking a sexual relationship with a younger man. Before my sister was married she called these boys puppies, happy-go-lucky, piling on top of each other, trying to slobber on her face. A woman who paid bills and kept the toilet clean easily impressed a puppy.
I’ve noticed that more young guys are hitting on me lately. Plausible explanations include the fact that I’m older than many of my friends so there are more young guys around. Also, I look younger than I am. Still, my age is correctly displayed on dating apps. I attempt to deter these young suitors by pointing out our age gap but for the most part, they don’t care. I’m pumaized?
I feel a lot more put together, confident, and attractive than I did in my 20’s. I’m sexy and I know it. I’m certainly more than a bill payer with a clean toilet. I don’t mind the attention. Younger boys that I’ve gone on dates with have fewer relationship suitcases in their closets. Many seem to want sex as much as I do.
But, I prefer to date men with their own money and sparkling clean bathrooms rather than boys. I’m uncomfortable teaching a partner the ways of the world. It’s uncomfortable when someone looks up to you just because you have lived longer (you understand this, they may not). Boys, you’re cute, so cute but I’m not you’re puma. I’m not ruling out becoming a cougar in the future, however.