On March 14 Our Principles PAC released an attack ad accusing Republican front runner Donald Trump of being sexist. The video features women reciting statements made by Trump. The following is the actual transcript of the ad (Trump) with fictitious commentary by Adventure Time’s Lumpy Space Princess (LSP).
LSP: My formula’s gonna cure the zombies cause I made the prettiest formula.
LSP: Ahh! Oh, my gosh! Leave me alone. All I said was “you’re ugly,” which is totally true.
Trump: Fat pig.
LSP: I’m sorry that you’re starving because I ate all of your crops, even though you’re all still really fat, and I probably helped you lose some weight.
Trump: A person who is very flat-chested is very hard to be a 10.
LSP: Yeah, everyone needs to know that when I work these lumps, no man is immune to their influences.
Trump: I’d look her right in that fat, ugly face of hers.
LSP: Oh. My. Glob. Melissa, ever since Clara stopped eating meat, her skin looks sooooo good! I mean, she still looks fat, but, like, I can’t say that junk to her face.
Trump: Look at that face. Would anyone vote for that?
LSP: Get away from my camp. I’ll cut you!
Trump: She had the height, she had the beauty. She was crazy. But these are minor details.
LSP: No way. First, I’m gonna fall in love with one of those little guys, then I’m gonna fall out of love. And then I’m gonna totally fake die, of a fake heart attack! Oh my heart! My heart hurts because I fell out of love! And now I have to die! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Trump: I like kids. I mean, I won’t do anything to take care of them. I’ll supply funds and she’ll take care of the kids.
LSP: Oh, nuh-uh! I am not gonna carry rocks.
Trump: You know, it really doesn’t matter what they write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of a**.
LSP: Oh, yeah! This body’s HOT! I feel POWERFUL!
Trump: That must be a pretty picture, you dropping to your knees.
LSP: I totally saw Hot Dog Princess get sucked in here, and I wasn’t invited!? I was all, “What the lump?” so I’m crashing this party.
Trump: There was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her … wherever.
LSP: Ugh, gross, ugh!
Trump: Women, you have to treat them like s***.
LSP: I guess at the end of the day, it’s all about the lumps.
SEVERAL WOMEN: This is how Donald Trump talks about our mothers, our sisters, our daughters.
Umm, sorry to throw Lumpy Space Princess under the bus here but she should not be talking about our mothers, our sisters, our daughters either. When I was looking for quotes for this post, I was shocked to read the lame shit that comes out of her mouth.