The Purple Rain cupcakes are simple but delicious. For the chocolate cake I used a box of Duncan Hines’ Devil’s Food cake mix, a small box of instant pudding mix, 1/3 of a cup oil, a cup of whipping cream, 4 eggs, and a generous tablespoon of vanilla. The frosting is buttercream, which includes a large sack of powdered sugar, a stick of butter, a stick of butter flavored Crisco, 1/3 of a cup of whipping cream, and another generous tablespoon of vanilla.
I went to Spun Sugar and got the shiny purple cupcake papers, purple food coloring (there were at least 5 purple choices and I don’t remember which one I chose. I don’t think it matters), and the purple sprinkles. There was much hemming and hawing over what to decorate with.
There were just a few issues. My friend and co party planner D brought champagne with her and I drank a lot of it. I’m pretty sure this enhanced my baking abilities, but I never tried one. My Williams-Sonoma frosting tip was nowhere to be found. I think my friend S might have hid it so as to avoid me leaving sticky spots all over his kitchen. I had to use the star tip. The sprinkles did not want to stick to the frosting. I should have picked lighter ones I think. Sprinkling was D’s job. She made an admirable effort.
I badly sprained my ankle last night wearing 6” heels. Shoeicide! That’s two falls in two weeks. My coccyx still hurts a ton. My new plan is to only wear heels in bed. I ate sidewalk walking to long lost red panties guy (Uber didn’t exactly drop me off in front of his place). He’d come outside to greet me, ran down the block and scooped me up, which was very nice.
This morning I went to see my doctor. She thought it could be fractured and sent me to get an X-ray. The hospital is a two-minute walk from my doctor’s office. I dragged my swollen purple foot behind me as it started to rain. Berkeley passersby took pity on me. I guy who said he drove for Uber stopped and offered me a free ride. I declined. Then a woman came up and grabbed my arm and helped me hobble.
The woman’s name is Denah Bookstein. She was on her way to teach a memoir class to Holocaust survivors. She entertained me with her stories about her younger self, navigating the subway in heels She said that heels were much shorter back then. When we got close to the entrance she got a wheelchair and wiped off the rainwater pooled on the seat with her hand. She wheeled me all the way down to the X-ray department in the basement and gave me her contact info so I could contact her and let her know I was OK. What an amazingly nice woman. I’m so lucky to live in Berkeley with amazingly nice people!
Extremely painful ankle sprain silver lining story brought to you by Berkeley, California. You should move here.
I haven’t been dancing IN YEARS. My friend L told me at WeWork’s new member brunch yesterday (hey croissant breakfast sandwiches) that she wanted to go. I was intrigued. Nobody seemed to know where to go dancing outside of San Francisco. I remembered that my friend N likes to go dancing and gave her a call. She was in.
She chose Era Art Bar and Lounge in Oakland’s Uptown. I decided that dancing was an occasion for kohl eye makeup (fail) and my highest heels. I love being 5’11”(success, then later fail). N responsibly drove us there in the rain. We picked up her fucking amazing sister T and got a spot right in front of the club! I believe that good parking comes from returning your shopping cart at the grocery store to the corral in front of the store (not the lot corral and definitely not wedged between spots or worse).
We first went for drinks at a new place called Small Wonder, formerly the Loring Cafe. T said it looked like different people had decorated different parts of the bar. We were in a quiet corner on vintage couches kind of crammed in next to a big round vintage wood table with mismatched everything (chairs, plates, napkin rings etc.). The bartender was very talented. N and T had sidecars (he gave us the extra in a couple of small glasses) and L and I had the signature cocktail. My friend S (the hottest person in the Coast Guard), L’s new dude person, and his random (at first I thought he had just come over to hit on S) friend joined us.
Era was super cozy and the DJ was great. I woohooed when he played Rihanna’s Work. I danced. I thought I couldn’t dance. There wasn’t much room to move so I swayed about sexily. It was very ambitious of me to try this in very high heels. At one point I fell on my ass. My friends know that despite growing up a jock, I’m terribly uncoordinated. T took me upstairs and convinced me that everyone could care less that I fell. Then we got back to it and danced until the lights came on.
I had a lot of fun. Nobody touched me inappropriately. Nobody kept trying to hit on me after I ignored him the first time. I met a lot of N and T’s amazing friends. I saw my friend K and her boyfriend briefly on the dance floor. Someone bought me a glass of champagne. My friend’s shared their water with me. I used to be too something for dancing. Judgmental? Grumpy? Fucking afraid? In fact, if I guy mentions dancing on their Bumble profile I usually swipe left. Other than my sore tailbone today, it was great! It feels so good to be a positive fearless yes sayer. Always swipe right on dancing.
My friend L is throwing a 30th birthday fete for her boyfriend in San Francisco tonight. We’ll pre party at their hotel and then head to a late show at Cobb’s Comedy Club. We’re dressing up because SF is so suffffisticated.
Unlike the Sexy Getting Ready Song from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, getting ready is not a horror show. Sometimes I knick myself shaving. Luckily, I have no facial hair waxing needs. I usually put on music. Rhye is good. Tonight I was watching my Oregon Ducks get demolished by Oklahoma in the NCAA tournament. Here are the things I pretty up for a special night.
Skin: I swear by Palmer’s cocoa butter lotion. It makes me soft and tastes like chocolate yummy.
Nails: When I had more money I used to have fancy nails that I maintained regularly. Now I splurge on a manicure and pedicure once a month. I usually get natural colors, but on a special night I’ll go with color. Tonight I have a deep red wine color on both my fingers and toes.
Makeup: I’m terrible at makeup. I’ve never gotten any better. I don’t watch Youtube and practice. I try to highlight my eyes.
Hair: I create waves or straighten my hair. Tonight I did my curling trick but it didn’t work. I put my hair up in a high ponytail and curl that. Spray it with hair spray. Take out the pony tail holder and run my fingers through with my head upside down. Today it just fell flat. Possibly, it’s because I used mouse or my hair is too clean.
Scent: I have a signature perfume, Narciso Rodriguez for Her. I spray it liberally.
Lingerie: I try to wear something special or at least match my bra and panties. Tonight, I’m wearing a garter belt and thigh high stockings. It feels weird.
Hair removal: I take a bath and shave.
Shoes: Platform pumps are the best. I’m going to be 5’11” tonight and my feet wont hurt. I just can’t drink too much and fall down. I did that once and hung out with the other high heel casualties in the ER.
Clean house: It’s nice to have a clean house when you’re date comes over. Don’t forget to clean under the ring part. Guys lift that up to pee.