Accidentally Almost a Puma Again, Awkward





I hadn’t been to a WeWork Berkeley Happy Hour in awhile. I sat by myself and texted a friend. I looked up and saw an attractive guy.

Me: Long haired muscular Asian boy alert! I love WeWork.
Friend: Haha, go say hello.

So I did. We had a good conversation so I asked him out. He said yes. We texted back and forth for a couple of days planning the date. He was kind enough to ask me if I had any dietary restrictions. I googled him and there it was on his LinkedIn profile. He graduated from Cal in 2015. I thought he was probably around 30. Nope. He probably had no idea that I’m considerably older than him. I wondered if I should alert him. I decided that a date was not a marriage proposal and to stop overthinking.

The day of our date. He canceled. It’s not me it’s him, he said. It bummed me out. It bummed me out just because I liked talking to him and had put myself out there.

Being young is hard for him. I’m not being sarcastic. I get it.

Accidentally Almost a Puma Again, Awkward

Berkeley’s Simply Bowl: Is It Real Poke?


Poke is trendy. Spelling it, “poké” is trendy. Berkeleyside’s Nosh writer Kate Williams said that poke is, “the new burrito-smoothie-bubble tea-13 dollar salad.” WeWorkers, Cal students and everyone everywhere flock to Simply Bowl in downtown Berkeley. Is the poke they serve there “real?”

My boss thinks that the Simply Bowl(s) do not contain “real” Hawaiian poke. His reasons are: it’s not marinated and the bowls contain squid and wet stuff (seaweed?), which are not authentic ingredients. Regarding his marination accusation, Kate’s response is, “most poke isn’t marinated, just tossed in sauce.” She says the fact can be verified in, “ALL OF THE STORIES about poke in Serious Eats.” I thought marinated fish was ceviche.

Poke comes from the Hawaiian verb “to section, slice, or cut,” so it’s open to a chef’s interpretation. I’m not a chef, but I say that avocado cubes do not a poke make. I’m pretty sure you need raw fish to make poke.

People in these parts flock to Simply Bowl. I had a spicy poke salad today and now my gut hurts. Kate also pointed out that Simply Bowl doesn’t allow you to build your own poke bowl. You have to go to San Francisco for that. Or you can build your own cinnamon roll down the street at at Cinnaholic.

Berkeley’s Simply Bowl: Is It Real Poke?

Wear Tilden To Outside Lands

FullSizeRender (85)
Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem (Animal!) will be at Outside Lands in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park this year. It’s not too soon to start planning what you’re going to wear. You’ll want something beautiful, practical, breathable and fun. You should pick up something special from Tilden.

I’ll be featuring Tilden in an upcoming story about festival fashion in The Bold Italic. I met with him last night at Jupiter in Berkeley to discuss the plan. He brought me an amazing bag (see photo above) as an example of his work. I don’t want to give too much of the story away now, but I will say that Tilden is absolutely the designer you want to dress you for Outside Lands or anytime really. He makes women’s’ and men’s clothing (natural fibers, 100% vegan) including selvedge denim. Check out Tilden’s clothes on Instagram.

I love my little bag with the blue cacti print so much!

Wear Tilden To Outside Lands

Cats In The Hall

FullSizeRender (82)
I live in Downtown Berkeley and my apartment building has a cat infestation. Two identical stray cats have taken up residence in the hallways. One of them dropped out of a ceiling fan onto the washing machine while I was doing laundry once and scared the fuck out of me. The front door of the building doesn’t close and they can easily scootch in under the security gate. At first it was a cute surprise but now I feel like a shit head for not feeding them when evidence abounds that other dwellers around me clearly are.

We are not a neighborly bunch. Residents come and go a lot as the building is near Cal. I saw my landlord in the lobby and asked him about it. He said they were trying to catch the cats. Huh? One of them zoomed into my apartment once and I just picked it up and carried it outside. I really don’t want fleas. I know I suck.

I googled and found that I am not alone in this problem. In Miami, a man shot at his neighbors for refusing to stop feeding strays in their shared apartment complex. On the other end of the spectrum, a stray in Russia living in an apartment’s hallways was heralded after saving an abandoned infant from freezing to death. I hope Marsha the cat got a real place to live after that.

Friend or foe, what are you supposed to do about stray cats living in your apartment building? The Humane Society has specific advise for housing managers. TNR stands for, “trap, neuter, and return.” Managers are supposed to get the cats all fixed up at the vet and then either take them to some kind of community group or ask the residents to continue caring for them. I’m not paying rent to live in an animal shelter? I know I suck.

There are laws in California pertaining to feral cats but as far as I can tell these laws leave the specifics to local government. The City of Berkeley website also suggests a TNR approach but also has a section called, “Do Feral Cats Lead Short, Miserable Lives?” and advice for keeping the cats out of your garden (ultrasonic cat repellents and motion activated sprinklers). Poor kitties.

Cats In The Hall

I Voted For Hillary Clinton. Why Do I feel So Guilty?

FullSizeRender (78)

I walked into a polling place in Berkeley, California today and voted for Hilary Clinton instead of Bernie Sanders. When my ballot was spat back out of the scanner, rejected I imagined all my friends shaking their Sanders loving slender fingers at me. My girlfriends dressed as Bernie Sanders for Bay to Breakers and waited on line for hours to cheer him on at his Oakland rally. Why do I feel as defective as my ballot voting for Hilary Clinton?

Here’s where you’re really going to shun me. I also voted for Hilary Clinton instead of Barack Obama in the 2008 California primary. I’m sorry that it’s been my dream to see a woman elected president since I watched Geraldine Ferraro at the Democratic National Convention as a little girl and was later called a lesbian after proudly displaying a Newsweek photo of Clinton in her Wellesley College days in my high school locker.

I have good and bad reasons for wanting to see Hilary Clinton elected president of the United States. A bad reason is that the wealthiest I’ve ever been was working as a first year public school teacher when Bill Clinton was president. I think the Clintons know what they’re doing. A good reason is that Hilary Clinton has the foreign policy experience necessary to lead this country.

Women are still treated like shit in the United Sates (we have like the worst parental leave policy in the entire world?). I’d like to see a woman president represent my interests in the White House. I care about reproductive rights, gun violence and equal pay. My friend A says that he will only vote for someone he’d want to play poker with. That statement just fucking sucks as he means he’d rather vote for Donald Trump. More snarky vitriol that Clinton will overcome.

I Voted For Hillary Clinton. Why Do I feel So Guilty?

Beer v. Wine in Downtown Berkeley

beer wine
Spoiler alert: beer wins

I like to drink. I like beer and wine equally. I like cocktails less. When I’m dating someone, I tend to be easily steered toward their drink of choice should they be opinionated about such things (pretty much all men). P liked IPAs so now I have favorites (Pliny the Elder and West Coast). N was an alcoholic so he preferred beer with a low ABV. Summertime is session time. J likes wine, which is good because one glass of wine per social event is allowed on the Tiffany Diet.

Downtown lost its only wine bar in March. It’s been replaced by another Berkeley beer place. I’m not sure why we need a Half Moon Bay Brewery taproom but they are moving in. Where else can one drink wine in downtown Berkeley? B&B Kitchen and Wine Bar opened recently but J has already commented, “meh” on their wine list. Something about only drinking organic wines. The wine at Revival is good and sure you could hang out at Chez Panisse drinking wine but could you really? Also, the Gourmet Ghetto is not Downtown Berkeley. Beer wins.

I’m writing this story at The Punchdown in downtown Oakland. My $10 glass of Pipeño Pais (Do I sound like I know what a Pais is?) is reasonably priced but I still feel a bit pinched. I could save at least $3 if I was drinking a beer. I like to think of myself as slightly wealthier than a college student so I won’t count on such a schmancy establishment opening near Cal anytime soon.


Beer v. Wine in Downtown Berkeley

Friends’ Photo Party With Jacqueline Neuwirth

Sorry guys, L is taken

Photographer Jacqueline Neuwirth created an unforgettable afternoon for my friends and I. We brought our gorgeous selves along with some outfits and makeup to WeWork Berkeley. Jacqueline brought all the talent, equipment, and bottles of wine (a six pack) necessary for a fun fabulous party with stunning results.

“After several bottles of wine I realized both sides are my good side,” joked my friend L. I hate getting my photo taken but Jacqueline made me feel comfortable and beautiful. K agreed, “taking photos with a group was really fun and took away the awkwardness that can go along with having your picture taken. My shots were more relaxed and natural looking because my friends were around to make me laugh.” I’m excited to use her photographs on my social media sites. I think a photo party is a great idea for a birthday but Jacqueline would also be a great addition to any singles event and an important resource for online daters .

In fact, she’s the owner of Love Your Photos. While using dating apps like Tinder, I grew weary of seeing those shirtless bathroom selfies guys post on their profiles. I also don’t understand the photos with sedated tigers or the Iron Throne. If every shot of you is skiing, surfing, climbing, scuba diving, or jumping out of an airplane and I can’t see your face, I don’t want to date you. Also, please don’t include a shot of you lying in bed. I could go on (I realize us ladies are just as guilty with our Machu Picchu pics and Where’s Waldo group shots with our hotter friends). Call Jacqueline, take a photo, and get a date.

My friend D enthused, “what better way to channel my inner Emily Ratajkowski than with Jacqueline and friends? I had tons of fun changing outfits and practicing poses while laughing and drinking the afternoon away.” It didn’t hurt that we had sexy and talented Ensemble Mik Nawooj members there to cheer us on.

Friends’ Photo Party With Jacqueline Neuwirth