Beer v. Wine in Downtown Berkeley

beer wine
Spoiler alert: beer wins

I like to drink. I like beer and wine equally. I like cocktails less. When I’m dating someone, I tend to be easily steered toward their drink of choice should they be opinionated about such things (pretty much all men). P liked IPAs so now I have favorites (Pliny the Elder and West Coast). N was an alcoholic so he preferred beer with a low ABV. Summertime is session time. J likes wine, which is good because one glass of wine per social event is allowed on the Tiffany Diet.

Downtown lost its only wine bar in March. It’s been replaced by another Berkeley beer place. I’m not sure why we need a Half Moon Bay Brewery taproom but they are moving in. Where else can one drink wine in downtown Berkeley? B&B Kitchen and Wine Bar opened recently but J has already commented, “meh” on their wine list. Something about only drinking organic wines. The wine at Revival is good and sure you could hang out at Chez Panisse drinking wine but could you really? Also, the Gourmet Ghetto is not Downtown Berkeley. Beer wins.

I’m writing this story at The Punchdown in downtown Oakland. My $10 glass of Pipeño Pais (Do I sound like I know what a Pais is?) is reasonably priced but I still feel a bit pinched. I could save at least $3 if I was drinking a beer. I like to think of myself as slightly wealthier than a college student so I won’t count on such a schmancy establishment opening near Cal anytime soon.


Beer v. Wine in Downtown Berkeley

Locals Call It “Bo Bo,” I Call It Amazing!

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Coast Cafe, photo courtesy of my friend T

On Saturday night five friends and I went on an adventure to Bolinas. I did my New York Times research and discovered there is one restaurant and one bar there. There is also a 24 vegetable stand/art gallery on the honor system. We went there to see Ensemble Mik Nawooj, a hip hop orchestra show because I included them in my Bold Italic article and the very nice director Christopher Nichols gave us free tickets. Everything was beautiful including the scenery (water, hills, ooh, aah), the food (Mmm), and the band (Mmm Mmm).

Coast Cafe is super cute and the food is great. We drank local beer and local wine and ate raw, grilled, barbecued, and fried oysters. I still get squirmy about oysters due to a bad experience at Tomales Bay so I had fish and chips. This was my “cheat meal” for the week and I nommed up every bit. Service was good too.

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Smoking hot emcees, photo courtesy of my friend A

The show was a Smiley’s Saloon, which has a full music calendar and a hotel in case you’re too tanked to drive on the windiest darkest road ever back home. Mik Nawooj is fucking fantastic live. My friend M said it was the best show she’s seen this year. We loved every bit of it even with the drunk noisy people trying to drown out the quieter parts. All the songs were great but I especially liked Hope Springs Eternal.

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24 hour vegetable stand, photo courtesy of my friend T

On the way home we stopped at the vegetable stand. My friends picked out spicy smelling greens and what not and dropped some cash into a lock box. Then I proceeded to drive approximately 17 MPH around the bends in my friend D’s shiny new Prius. We crept up on a fox we were so slow and quiet.

Go to Bolinas, go go!

Locals Call It “Bo Bo,” I Call It Amazing!

Sex With The Simpsons

This is a fictional conversation. Everything the man and woman say are direct quotes from The Simpsons.

A woman approaches a man sitting at the bar and overhears him lecturing his neighbor

Man: A woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!

She flirts

Woman: Well, if it isn’t the leader of the wiener patrol, boning up on his nerd lesson.

He checks her out

Man: Uh, we’re having a discussion about gay witches for abortion. You wouldn’t be interested.

Woman: Once you go Vatican, you never go back again.

He turns back to his neighbor

Man: When a woman says nothing’s wrong, that means everything’s wrong. And when a woman says everything’s wrong, that means everything’s wrong! And when a woman says something’s not funny, you’d better not laugh your ass off!

She offers to buy him a drink

Man: Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.

Woman: Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?

He notices she has decent boobs and she notices him noticing her boobs

Woman: My back yard makes my front yard look like an idiot.

Warming to her

Man: The human wang is a beautiful thing.

She glances at a menu

Man: The food was not undelicious.

Woman: Aw, twenty dollars!? I wanted a peanut.

Man: Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do?

He asks her what she does for a living 

Woman: Making teenagers depressed is like shooting fish in a barrel.

He looks confused

Woman: It’s all right, I’m a teacher!

Man: I love the sexy slither of a lady snake.

Woman: Come on, boy. Let’s go home and have some fun huh?

Announcing to the crowd

Man: I’m going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for ten minutes!

Muttering to herself

Woman: Shut up brain. I got friends now. I don’t need you anymore.

Muttering to himself 

Shut up brain, or I’ll stab you with a Q-Tip.

She leans in to smell his neck

Man: I’m not a bath man myself. More of a cologne man.

In the back seat of his car

Woman: My pudding is trapped forever.

Man: I’m going to need a bigger drill.

Pointing to her chest

Woman: I call the big one Bitey.

Man: I’ve done things I’m not proud of, and the things I am proud of are disgusting.

Going down on him

Woman: It’s just a little dirty! It’s still good, it’s still good!

Man: There’s bound to be a little splash-back.

He cums

Man: B’oh!

Woman: I did a good job. A gooood job.

Pointing to her pussy

Man: I’m gonna kiss her like a mule eatin’ an apple.

She cums 

Woman: You said it, kitty.

Man: I’ll just get the shuttlecock.

Woman: No foot-longs!

Man: I’m just trying to get in, I’m not running for Jesus.

Woman: I like your toys. Mine are all sticky.

They are interrupting by a policeman rapping his nightstick on the window

Policeman: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

She looks sympathetically at her partner

Woman: Oh, your blue thing with the blue things?

Man: Okay, Fat Load here.

Later, showing off to her friends

Woman: And here’s a picture of me getting arrested for indecent exposure.

Later, showing off to his friends

Man: A toast to the host who can boast the most roast.

All The Simpsons quotes you could ever want.


Sex With The Simpsons

A’s Game, Perfect Friday Night

Oh, I was wondering why someone in front of us was wearing an elephant hat

My friends and I felt like drinking beer outside and showing our East Bay pride so we headed to an Oakland A’s game. It’s easy to get to the Coliseum, you can bring in your own food (I’m told this because the food there is so terrible), and you can get great seats for $20. My friend H couldn’t make it but said to do the Bernie Lean for her, which I thought had something to do with Bernie Sanders. I guess not. I still don’t know what that means.

I like the die hard A’s fans and the ragamuffin stadium. Giants Stadium is so fancy with fancy food and fancy everything. Not saying I wouldn’t happily go to Giants game, but this was East Bay sports watching week (we watched the Warriors make history on Wednesday at Bobby G’s). We were 12 happy local denizens enjoying the sunshine eating hot dogs and drinking “premium” beers.

Highlights included my friend P bringing a flask in the form of a sunscreen bottle and me saying the geekiest thing ever to a boy. During the 7th inning stretch I told him that I could sing Take Me Out to the Ballgame in Latin and that instead of peanuts and cracker jacks you say dormice and honeycomb.

Let’s root root root for the lions, not the humans they maim

A’s lost to Kansas City. I’ll go back. Watching baseball is fun and loungey.

A’s Game, Perfect Friday Night

Don’t Be Sloppy With The Rock

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I arrived at Bobby G’s Pizzeria two hours ahead of the Warriors’ historical tip off last night. My plan was to save 6 seats for friends. There was only one available table in front of the TV that was rumored to be the one reserved for watching Kobe Bryant’s retirement party. I planned to read this month’s Books and Beer Club selection. My friend T got there super early to help me defend against the literal hordes that would come to try and take what was mine.

Last year I watched almost every Warriors playoff and championship game at Bobby G’s. The pizza is good. The beer selection is outstanding. They even have Pliny on tap for about five minutes every week. The whole place is packed with fans spilling onto the street during games. Nobody is there for any other reason. The service is perfect. They have never ever fucked up my order. They always play the Warriors song.

Watch the Warriors clobber Houston (and try not to vomit when Harden stirs his pot) on Saturday at 12.30 at Bobby G’s in Berkeley!

Do it big like Bogut people!

Don’t Be Sloppy With The Rock

Revisit The Trappist

FullSizeRender (61)Is The Trappist the original specialty spot to open during Oakland’s decade long beer boom? It’s so old that it’s Belgian focused. I hate Belgian beer. It tastes like cloves. Consequently, I haven’t been to The Trappist much over the years. I definitely took my beer snob brother-in-law there when he visited a while ago, before there were a million great options for craft beer in Albany, Berkeley, El Cerrito, and Oakland.

My friend H from Books and Beer Club and I went there last Wednesday before eating at B-Dama in Swan’s Marketplace. The weather was hot! Did you know that The Trappist has a nice little beer garden in the back? I did not. H did not. I was really pleased to see Founders All Day IPA on tap, a session ale with 4.7% ABV, perfect for the warm weather.

Old Oakland is so lively on weekdays after work. I’m finding any excuse to hang out there these days. Downtown Berkeley’s drinking establishments have dwindled lately. I did hear that a new restaurant is moving into the Perdition space and that they inherited Perdition’s great beer selection. I don’t know how that works but I’m very happy about it.

Revisit The Trappist

I Heart Stats

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Pretty As A Peanut has been viewed in 1/3 of the countries in the world

My blog Pretty As A Peanut is now 2 months old. Here are a few more fun stats that WordPress provides for me.

Top 10 Countries (I’m huge in Nepal, haha)

#10 Mexico
#9 Germany
#8 India
#7 Japan
#6 France
#5 Nepal
#4 Australia
#3 United Kingdom
#2 Canada
#1 United States

Top 10 Tags

#10 Bay Area
#9 Disney Princesses
#8 Tina Belcher & Bob’s Burgers
#7 Ghosting
#6 Beer
#5 Text
#4 Adventure Time
#3 Sexy
#2 Oakland
#1 Donald Trump

Party time!


I Heart Stats