Liquor Cupcake? I Don’t Even Know Her III

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Chocolate cupcake with salted caramel filling and vanilla bourbon buttercream

Tomorrow night is my friend L’s 30th birthday at Missouri Lounge in Berkeley. After my Easter brunch with a friend’s family (pumpernickel bagel, egg salad, Kerns pear nectar, and See’s chocolate Easter eggs), I got to work baking cupcakes. It feels good not to have to follow recipes and be able to improvise now. Baking isn’t as rigid/scientific as some people think.

I did my usual Duncan Hines Devil’s Food mix with a box of chocolate pudding mix for the dry ingredients. Four eggs, 1/3 of a cup vegetable oil, 3/4 of a cup buttermilk, and 1/4 cup bourbon got mixed in.

I decided to fill them this time. Filling is fun. You core out little pockets of cake with a pairing knife, pipe in some goo and then pop the little tops back on. After frosting, no one is the wiser until they take a bite. I’d asked my friend P to get me salted caramels to melt at Berkeley Bowl but he was too stressed out by being in that fucking madhouse, he abandoned his mission.

I ended up at Safeway at 9 am buying something trying to fancy next to squeeze bottles of Hershey’s Syrup. It ended up tasting not salty at all, so I added salt. Then it was too salty. I’d say I eventually wrestled that shit into submission.

The frosting was standard buttercream with extra vanilla and some more bourbon. I went to the fancy cupcake store and got snazzy little chocolate vanilla swirl straws to top them off. Very professional looking. I also got 3 and 0 candles because I think everyone should blow out candles on their birthday. I hope they help make a it a special night for her. She deserves it. She’s wonderful.


Liquor Cupcake? I Don’t Even Know Her III

My Sexy Getting Ready Routine

Clear heels are trashy but she’ll be comfortable wearing these because of the platform part

My friend L is throwing a 30th birthday fete for her boyfriend in San Francisco tonight. We’ll pre party at their hotel and then head to a late show at Cobb’s Comedy Club. We’re dressing up because SF is so suffffisticated.

Unlike the Sexy Getting Ready Song from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, getting ready is not a horror show. Sometimes I knick myself shaving. Luckily,  I have no facial hair waxing needs. I usually put on music. Rhye is good. Tonight I was watching my Oregon Ducks get demolished by Oklahoma in the NCAA tournament. Here are the things I pretty up for a special night.

Skin: I swear by Palmer’s cocoa butter lotion. It makes me soft and tastes like chocolate yummy.

Nails: When I had more money I used to have fancy nails that I maintained regularly. Now I splurge on a manicure and pedicure once a month. I usually get natural colors, but on a special night I’ll go with color. Tonight I have a deep red wine color on both my fingers and toes.

Makeup: I’m terrible at makeup. I’ve never gotten any better. I don’t watch Youtube and practice. I try to highlight my eyes.

Hair: I create waves or straighten my hair. Tonight I did my curling trick but it didn’t work. I put my hair up in a high ponytail and curl that. Spray it with hair spray. Take out the pony tail holder and run my fingers through with my head upside down. Today it just fell flat. Possibly, it’s because I used mouse or my hair is too clean.

Scent: I have a signature perfume, Narciso Rodriguez for Her. I spray it liberally.

Lingerie: I try to wear something special or at least match my bra and panties. Tonight, I’m wearing a garter belt and thigh high stockings. It feels weird.

Hair removal: I take a bath and shave.

Shoes: Platform pumps are the best. I’m going to be 5’11” tonight and my feet wont hurt. I just can’t drink too much and fall down. I did that once and hung out with the other high heel casualties in the ER.

Clean house: It’s nice to have a clean house when you’re date comes over. Don’t forget to clean under the ring part. Guys lift that up to pee.



My Sexy Getting Ready Routine