White Elephant Gift Ideas For Liberals

Are you stressing over what to bring to yet another awkward holiday party gift exchange? If you live in a blue state, you’re probably still in post-election mourning; hence, I’ve assembled a list of white-elephant gift-exchange gifts to inspire conversation and relieve stress.

Note on content: there are many references to “pussy” in this story.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Prayer Candle

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Image courtesy of Katherine Kerrin, the Eternal Flame

Oh, RBG, deliver us from the evil one. May lice, boils and nasty women be upon him. I will not forgive he who should trespass on my 14th Amendment rights. Praise be upon my pussy. I bought three of these.

Buy yours here.

Read the rest of this story on The Bold Italic.

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White Elephant Gift Ideas For Liberals

Why Are So Many People Scrooges When It Comes to the Holidays?

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Hey, soulless meanie! (You know who you are.) Why won’t you help out someone in need this holiday season? I found out the hard way that my friends and dates have no problem refusing or ignoring me when I asked them to help me donate presents to families in need.

As a usually single childless adult, I find that the warmth of the season often eludes me. When I was forced to help my Jewish mother decorate 11 varieties of Christmas cookies to be plattered and gifted to the garbage person, I felt no tingles whatsoever.

Then one year I was visiting my sister for Thanksgiving and saw how her law firm was collecting toys for children. As a kid, I remember plucking a name off the giving tree in the Pony Village Mall and returning with a wrapped gift for “Lucy, Age 4.” I was inspired to seek a similar charitable opportunity in the Bay Area. That’s how I found the Concord-based nonprofit Uplift Family Services, an amazing agency that sponsors a “Foster Santa” program for families in need. Uplift sent me information about a family, along with a wish list. At the time, I was dating Paul, a CEO; he and I had a great time shopping and wrapping the gifts while listening to John Denver and the Muppets. I remember how excited he was by wristlet Scotch-tape dispensing.

Read the whole story in The Bold Italic

Why Are So Many People Scrooges When It Comes to the Holidays?