Tequila Lime Birthday Cake

FullSizeRender (64)I’m the girl that brings the spiked baked goods to people’s birthdays. I think that a birthday celebration must have something sweet to stick a candle in. How else can the birthday person make a wish? I didn’t know what kind of cake my friend R would like so I asked him what his favorite candy was. I hoped he say something chocolate but he said, “Skittles.” Skittles cake? Nope. I remembered he liked tequila and that is how the tequila lime cake was born. Yellow Skittles made an appearance.

I used a white cake mix, lemon pudding mix, egg whites, oil, vanilla, fresh squeezed lime juice and a cup of Cazadores tequila blanco. By the way, If you want to impress a bartender and don’t have a pile of money, ridicule Patron and then order Cazadores. The frosting was basic buttercream. Cream butter and butter flavored Crisco (so the frosting will behave) and powdered sugar. Add a tablespoon of vanilla. You’re supposed to put about a third of a cup of milk in the mix but I didn’t have any so I used more tequila and lime juice.

I fucked up this cake pretty badly twice. Don’t fear baking people. I wing it all the time. I thought I was using a one-cup measurer (too many swigs of tequila) when it was a two-cup. A cake mix calls for three eggs but I always use 4. This time I used 8. Whoops! Hmmm, the batter is so runny, what do I do. I ran to the store and grabbed another cake mix. I was a little skeptical so I baked one cupcake just to make sure it was edible. It was.

The next time I fucked up was when frosting. I bought that set of three tinfoil baking pans. It was going to be a three-layer cake but 85% of the way into frosting it I realized that I didn’t have enough and had to cut out a layer and scrape off as much as possible. I bake at a friend’s house and he was very happy to find the reject layer when he got home later. It made up for any sticky spots I may have left behind. I am a messy critter and even after I clean up you’re likely to find buttered handles everywhere I touched.

Frosting a cake is always annoying as fuck. That’s why people use fondant, which gives a cake that perfectly smooth look. Fondant tastes disgusting. I usually put the cake in the freezer for a bit to make it less likely to crumb up the frosting. I also smooth out the frosting with a wet knife. Decorating was super easy because I used the star tip from my Williams-Sonoma tip set. I squeezed and then plopped on the Skittles to make the flowers. I couldn’t find my cake carrier so later it got smooshed during the car ride. It was real pretty before that happened.

I gave R the leftover tequila and Skittles as presents. My friend L and I covered that cake with candles and embarrassed the shit out of the birthday boy and that’s how it should be. I got compliments.

S with the sticky spots said, “Made me think of a piña colada on the beach in cake form. Super good!” R the birthday boy said, “It was the best, no one has done anything like that for me.”

Aww, thanks friends. It was my pleasure even though I burned myself on the oven.

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Tequila Lime Birthday Cake

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