Your Pussy Is Delicious

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I have munched some rug and she was incredibly sexy, but this is not a post about her. Please immediately drop anyone you are having sex with if they don’t love going down on you more than their mother. If they don’t know how to do it in a way that pleases you and don’t want to spend all the very enjoyable time it takes to learn, also immediately drop them. Finally, if they have ever told you that you had to be bare down there or any other iteration of they only want to do it “If,” DROP THEM NOW.

Going down on a woman helped me know for sure that my own pussy is delicious. You should know that yours is too. Just exercised, been out all night? It’s still delicious. It is so fucking delicious that anyone would be lucky to be anywhere in the vicinity of it. I promise you. Don’t let anyone or any douche or douche commercial tell you otherwise.

My ex told me that Chinese slang for oral sex on a female is, “Eating fish.” I freaked out. I remembered Heidi Barnes in middle school whose nickname had been Tuna Fish. Fuck you middle school kids! When I told my ex that hearing this made me feel insecure, he said, “But Chinese people love eating fish, the stinkier the better!” My pussy is not fish. It’s not stinky. No, just no. Shut up. Eat me. Love it.

If someone you’re intimate with finds your long lost red panties a week later and doesn’t immediately apply them to their face, there is something wrong with them. There is nothing wrong with you, your smell, or your taste. You are incredible. Ladies be so confident that you give my trick a try. The next time you want your date to be lustlorn, masturbate ahead of time and apply some of your deliciousness to the back of your earlobes like perfume. You are welcome.

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Your Pussy Is Delicious

3 thoughts on “Your Pussy Is Delicious

  1. Clement says:

    Wow! Very powerful piece, Peanut. As a shameless connesieur, cunning linguist and collector of lightly used, scented women’s panties, all I can say is, ladies, bring it the fuck on…!! I’m ready for my endless hours of dining pleasure deep in your tasty loins.

    Like

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