I’m a successful yenta. Before Thanksgiving I threw a singles party at Spats and introduced my friend M to my friend D. When M talks about D, she smiles a special smile. It’s that goofy, lovey, crushing on grin that’s unmistakable, even at yoga from a downward dog position when it’s upside down and a little sweaty and shining through a grunt. The goofy grin is great. If you find yourself unable to stop the corners of your mouth from creeping upward, even as you pass a homeless woman on the street screaming, “Anorexic bitch!” at you, enjoy the moment.
When was the last time you felt dopey over someone and dopey felt like the best way to be? When you’re dating a lot, you meet some people you hate, a lot you don’t like, a few you’re ambivalent toward, and a couple you maybe sort of like. When you least expect it (because you’re at the point where you’d be happy to die alone), you meet someone and blammo! He’s actually standing there across a crowded bar, you’re eyes lock, and you’re sure you couldn’t dream up a man you’d rather talk to and look at and touch. You tell your friends, “I like him, I really like him.”
Everyone who loves you is on team “That Guy” because they know you never get giddy. While your horrible date stories amuse the fuck out of them, they’d rather you be happy. Then you find out circumstances with That Guy are much less than ideal for a relationship to happen. That Guy has integrity and is open about the serious stuff happening in his life and the work he needs to do to get to good. One by one, your friends say, “No! No more That Guy.” But you still get that goofy grin on your face whenever you find someone willing to listen to you gush about him.
To be continued…