My friend Brad thinks I’m too picky about men. “What’s wrong with this one?” he texted recently. I told him that the guy was too effeminate.
Me: I want someone who can push me up against a wall when indicated (sexually).
B: Whoa. That’s a tall order in today’s politically correct world where men have been psychologically bullied to become less manly.
Me: My ex was a choker.
B: Whoa! Have you been to the Kink in SF?
Me: I’m kinky?
B: It’s an adult studio that runs tours. It’s a good date choice.
Me: The SF Weekly slideshow makes it look amazing and fun. Thanks for a great idea.
B: The date that goes with you will shake off any kind of cultural political correctness and feminization.
Me: Or just giggle girlishly?
B: It will only last for a few seconds. It will sink in.
Brad has been on the tour and says you get to see all the sets, costumes, props…and you may or may not be asked to sign a waiver in case you end up in a porno being filmed as you tour. According to the Armory Studios website,
“The extraordinary history of the SF Armory and the talented handiwork of the Art Department combine to create an unforgettable experience. From extensive prop collections to the creek that runs through the basement, there is no other place quite like it.”
They had me at, “extraordinary history” hahaha. I’ve seen pictures online and there’s a room full of stilettos and schoolgirl skirts, a gross bathroom, a clean bathroom, gimp room, the hog set, abattoir (whoa, the porn people taught me a new word), an actual creek, and a New York City apartment. I think that if you’re in the getting to know you phase, the blind lust phase, the what happened to blind lust phase, or any phase for that matter in relating, it would give you a lot to talk about. If Aziz Ansari says you should go to a monster truck rally on a date, why not tour the settings of people’s fantasies.
He who accompanies me shall be lucky.