Sorry Oscar, It’s Not You It’s Me

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I used to go to the movies all the time. My first real boyfriend and I were in a theater every weekend. For years I happily went to movies by myself. I saw everything. I can’t remember exactly when my relationship with movies got rocky. I walked out of Black Swan because I hated it. I do however, remember my breaking point. I thought Gravity sucked. There was so much hype and so many Oscars. WTF?

I rarely go to a theater to see a movie these days. It has a lot to do with the fact that I’d rather be out interacting with people or home reading in my pajamas. It’s expensive. If I’m not going to see things blow up spectacularly (have I mentioned my love of the Fast and Furious?) or learn something (did you know the spacesuits in the Martian were 3D printed?), I’m not interested. Not even the surge of drinking theaters is enough to draw me in. I actually saw both Furious 7 and the Martian on iTunes so they don’t count as far as movies I’d see in the theater.

I was invited to an Oscar gathering last night, which I attended to see my friends dressed up and for the mini hot dogs and Chris Rock’s monologue. I left early. I was reminded that I saw Mad Max Fury Road in a theater twice. The first time I exclaimed, “This is so fucking cool!” after the opening scene and embarrassed my now ex boyfriend. We were in the Kabuki in San Francisco. That place is really nice. I don’t have to listen to 4 year olds snivel, “Why is that bear doing that to Leo daddy?” because some creepy parents brought their kids to see the Revenant (not something that actually happened to me, I wouldn’t touch that movie with a ten foot pole). I was happy that Mad Max won a lot of technical awards. I liked that the people winning those awards were cheeky Brits/women wearing pants.

I think the only other movies I watched in the theater this year were with my mom and my friend and my friend’s mom in Coos Bay, Oregon. We saw Inside Out (if only Mindy Kaling had played Lust), Joy (I love you JLaw but, bleck!”), and Sisters (T, you’re lucky you and I are still friends). I also saw Magic Mike XXL (I’d see that over Room any day, I read the book and exactly who the fuck thought it would be a good movie?) and Goodnight Mommy (I walked out) on friend outings. That’s it. If you like torture, go see a double feature of Inside Out and Goodnight Mommy.

Does anyone want to watch Spotlight or the Big Short on iTunes with me?

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Sorry Oscar, It’s Not You It’s Me

2 thoughts on “Sorry Oscar, It’s Not You It’s Me

  1. Heather says:

    I totally agree that Gravity was overhyped! But I think you’re missing out by not going to some of the theaters that serve drinks, especially the New Parkway.

    Like

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