There is a lesson I can’t seem to learn, not even from Ingrid Michaelson.
Her song, “Girls Chase Boys” from 2014 consists almost entirely of her repeating over and over (I counted 10 times) the following verse:
All the broken hearts in the world still beat
Let’s not make it harder than it has to be
Ooooooh it’s all the same thing
Girls chase boys chase girls
I chase boys. I can’t stop. I have CTE from repeatedly ramming my head into this wall. I’m the girl who thinks it’s a good idea to text a guy a picture from the cool thing I’m doing, even though I haven’t heard from him in a week. I’m the girl who thinks a date went well, wonder why I don’t hear from the guy the next day (or the day after), so I ask him, and he has to tell me that he just doesn’t see a romantic future for us.
Or this (text exchange) happens:
Me (paraphrasing drunken babbling): What’s going on, are you seeing someone else you like better and keeping me around just in case?
Him (direct quote): “No trippin’.”
Why do I push it to this point? Why do I make it harder than it has to be? Why do I repeat this mistake over and over again. I know the answer to my question but I ask it anyway. I think it will be better “knowing for sure,” but I do know for sure.
If he liked me he’d tell me, he’d show me, he’d call or text me, he’d ask me out on another date, he’d chase me. Why am I “trippin’?” Why would I even like someone who would say that?
OK readers, I vow to make this a week of no foolish useless chasing. I’m not calling them too. I’m gonna be alright. Check me.