Are you a Copper Top?

Are you chasing after someone who seems enamored with you when you’re together but is often unavailable? They light up when they are with you, laugh at your jokes, compliment your style and appearance, kiss you, even have sex with you once or twice but also disappear for days at a time or answer your texts with nothing but an emoticon? They are jealous of other people in your life but you’re left wondering how they’re sitting court side at a Warriors’ game when money is so tight for them (they’re going through a divorce or are young and their job doesn’t pay very well) that they can’t buy food or drinks when you go out?

Sorry friend, you’re a copper top. A copper top is a term used by some of my guy friends and now me. I believe a writer friend of a friend named Scott Manus originally coined the term. A copper top is not the same thing as a sugar daddy/mama or a back burner boy/girl. The using is one-sided and hanging out with a copper top is not a last resort.

On a battery, the copper top is the cathode or positive electrode (close enough, so shut up physics nerds laughing at my explanation). In dating, the term copper top refers to a person used by someone else likely with low self-esteem as a tool, solely for personal gratification or aggrandizement—as an energy source. Being a copper top is a bummer, it’s heartbreaking. You feel bad and dumb and then bad again when you realize what’s happening. You like this person and they like you too, just not for the reasons you want.

As soon as you realize you’re a copper top, the best thing to do is to stop chasing, just stop, and move on. Delete them from your phone so you won’t be tempted to contact them. Don’t worry about blocking them because you won’t hear from them much anymore. They liked it when you were pursuing. They’ll find another copper top. You will find your pride and one day you’ll find someone who likes you just as much as you like them, just as you are.

Are you a Copper Top?

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